This week I reached the halfway point in my pregnancy - 20 weeks. It's been almost 2 months since I last blogged so apologies for the delay, but so much has been going on and it's been tough to sit down and write things out.
In a nutshell, here's what the past 5 months have looked like for us:
Early Dec., 2013: Chris gets laid off from his job.
1 Week later: We throw our hands in the air, say f*ck it, and go on the London trip we'd been planning on taking (oh also that we'd already paid for and was nonrefundable) for 3 years. Call it a "honeymoon that was a long time coming."
Vacay/Post-Vacay/New Years: We get all Marvin Gaye. Like, a lot.
Mid-Jan: We find out we're pregnant. Happiness ensues.
Last week: We get a letter from unemployment stating that Chris's funds have been exhausted.
Post-Mean-Letter-Arrival: Chris goes to unemployment office to file for an extension and is told that because congressional Republicans are refusing to pass an extension on unemployment right now, he gets nothing. (PS, he's gotten 18 weeks of unemployment and has worked tirelessly to find a job). Oh, and he was also told to "Have a good day." He almost had to be escorted out of the office by security.
I tell you these things not because I am looking for sympathy, but for two reasons:
1) It's completely insane and people need to know what's going on in Congress. I'm not as concerned about what we're going to do because I have a job and we did build a nest egg just in case the bottom fell out. So many others have been screwed so much worse by this and that makes me angry.
2) Despite the course of these events, I feel happier than I've ever felt in my life.
See, we've been married for 12 years and have never spoken much to friends/family members about our plans to have children. We weren't even sure if we wanted to take that plunge until late last summer, when we decided to pull the birth control plug and, "hell, see what happens." We had money saved up and were planning to eventually upgrade out of an apartment into a real house. We really like us and thought, why should we deprive the world of the awesomeness that will inevitably be our offspring (sounds haughty but it's true, and anyone will say that about their offspring so shut your mouth, eat your cereal and quit your judging).
After initial freakouts this week, here's what's seemed to help things fall into place for us, mentally:
1) We weighed the scales of our lives. Sounds kind of cheesy but I'm serious, try it out and it'll really put things into perspective. Draw a set of scales and write down the bad on one side, and the good on the other. For us, despite the shit turn of events, the good outweighed the bad by a ridiculous margin. Between our incredible support system made up of the greatest people in the world to our awesomely dark senses of humor, to our spectacular mid-century modern living/dining room (which NOBODY can take away), we realized that we're going to be just fine. It's funny, you plan, plan, plan on things happening a certain way. We saved $$ for a child we now can't afford to have. THANKS OBAMA (ironic snicker).
2) The baby started to kick. Like, really kick and move and stuff and WE CAN FEEL HIM!!!!
3) I made a spectacular homemade version of mac n' cheese last night with bacon and chives. Try it. It'll change your life (look up bechamel sauce, do it that way and then sprinkle with bacon bits and chives).
4) I always wondered what perfection looked like, until last night, when I saw it. THIS is perfection.