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Monday, March 24, 2014

Why I drink pickle juice - adventures in pregnancy...

So it turns out, I'm pregnant. 14 weeks tomorrow so I can talk about it now! Yay for indiscretion!!!

This is my first go-round so I have absolutely no idea what to expect, although everyone and every pregnancy website (all of which I've scoured) have told me exactly what would be happening with my body. I won't go into the details of what I've experienced thus far as I'm sure many women have been there, done that, but I will talk about the weird shit.

Okay, seriously, it's all weird, right??

I have absolutely NO DESIRE to drink coffee. That was the one thing that scared me most about getting pregnant. Sure, my abdominal muscles splitting in half and having a tear inevitably happen that goes from vag to anus sounds mildly terrifying, but WHAT ABOUT THE FACT THAT I CAN'T HAVE CAFFEINE? So initially (before the doc told me that 200 mg a day was safe), I made a switch to decaf coffee. Which was fine because it tastes the same and tricked my body into thinking it WAS the same.

But then the nausea, smell and food aversions, they came on without warning - not unlike the pack of dirty "gang" kids who roamed the streets of my neighborhood when I was a kid. (Okay, so maybe I hung out with them one or two times).

Back to coffee. I just don't want it. I don't want to smell it, I don't want to taste it. In fact, just writing about it is making me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I'm through the first trimester, so dying to know when (and if) this will go away. Every morning I wake up hoping to want a delicious cup of (gag) hot coffee, but nothing so far...

So let's talk about pickles. I have worked my way through several jars since about week 6 and can't get enough. A couple of weeks ago, I finished yet another jar and my husband was playing a video game in the living room. Well, after finishing the last of these pickles I looked into the jar which was my first mistake. The green, vinegary juice looked back at my with such intensity - it took me back to sitting on the kitchen counter when no one was home, downing yet another glass of pickle juice before anyone could find out (yes, I drank pickle juice as a child. It was one of many quirks). I looked over at Chris and he was pretty wrapped up in his game. So I dared. I quickly took a swig right out of the jar and at THAT VERY MOMENT he turned his head and stared at me with a sort of disgusted look of curiosity.

I couldn't really explain. What was the point?

Saturday, March 8, 2014

A detailed analysis of the photo that has changed my life...

Anyone who's ever visited my home has likely noticed it. Most visitors have asked the question, and just a few have noticed it but were not sure what to make of it, so kept quiet.

And when someone asks The Question, excitement and anticipation rev up inside.

"Why do you have a framed picture of Seal in your house?"

And the answer is always the same:

"It's there to remind us that we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy."

So as I've most certainly caught your attention, I'm sure you're wondering about the story behind the picture.

It was about three years ago. Chris and I were checking out the neighborhood Goodwill and came across the photograph. We were enamored with it from the start. The calm, yet slightly concerned look on his face, that says something along the lines of, "I know what you feel. Don't be so hard on yourself. My baby." The majestic gold and snake-skin type frame that served as a vessel for the photograph. I turned it over. $2.56. We hemmed and hawed about it and decided to hide it and think about it for at least a day or two before committing to this purchase.

I couldn't sleep that night. I couldn't stop thinking about those eyes. That look. And oh, my, the frame.

So I went back first thing the next day, found it right where we'd hidden it, and made my purchase. The picture looked amazing in our house. It now sits on our hutch, among several family photos. Because he's like a member of the family.

A few weeks ago, Chris and I decided to unravel some of the mystery behind the photograph. For the first time, we opened the back of the frame to take a look. The picture has a very Olan Mills vibe to it - was it taken in a Kmart photo studio? Is there writing on the back of it, dating the time and place and, of course, name of the subject?

And just like that, the magic was gone. Turns out the picture was clipped out of a magazine (likely by a four year old or a very hasty clipper, as it was a terribly executed clipping job).

So from there, I started to wonder what kind of a person hastily would clip a picture of Seal out of a magazine and put it in a gold and snake-skin type frame? I appreciate and admire the resourcefulness and creativity, but I do wonder if this person had this photo in their home so they could perhaps tell people that Seal is a friend of theirs? Or did they have an alter dedicated to Seal and his wisdom? I could see that.

Let me just note, right here, that Chris and I love us some Seal. In fact, we're not fully convinced that "Kiss from a Rose" wasn't inspired by a conversation he had with an angel. The dude's got heart and soul in his music - nobody can deny that.

Anyway, we of course were not ready to put the photograph in storage. I don't think we ever will. Knowing that it is just a clipping from a magazine is disheartening, but alas it still harbors the heart and soul of that for which Seal stands. You can see it in his eyes (which do not become large in the picture, thank goodness).