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Saturday, April 20, 2013

Another Magical Caturday Post!

When I was a kid (and, well if we're honest, into my teen years), I used to leap as far out of my bed as possible to avoid getting either 1) pulled under by the monster that was clearly residing under there, where there was a portal a la Little Monsters that would take him back to a hellish place, not at all like Little Monsters; or 2) getting my achilles tendon sliced by the demonic kid who was raised from the dead a la Pet Cemetery.

As a kid I was terrified of using the toilet after hearing a story about a guy who was bitten on the butt by a snake that had slithered its way through the pipes and into the toilet. I STILL, to this day, refuse to use a toilet in the dark (like in the middle of the night) and ALWAYS, ALWAYS check to make sure there's not a snake in the toilet. I also came up with this scenario that because we lived on a lake, the likelihood of a snake at some point finding its way into our house was certainly viable. And it would most definitely find its way into my room and into the foot of my bed while I was sleeping. So every night I would wake up multiple times to check and make sure there wasn't a snake in my bed. Tragic, huh?

So last night when we were of course watching a special on snakes (basically something about how we shouldn't fear them, they fear us, blah, blah, blah), something was said that completely validated my fears. Three words came out of the narrator's mouth that will be etched in my memory forever (echo that like three times): "Snakes are everywhere." WHAT. Then the narrator goes on to say that a pit viper (poisonous, yep) can easily survive in a patch of grass in the middle of downtown Atlanta.

That's fucked up.

So in changing tunes to something that DOES please and sparkle, I wanted to share this amazing lion mane that I'm pretty sure I'll be ordering for Dirt McGrit, Esquire sometime over the next 24 hours. It IS Caturday, after all.


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