3 dirty habits I've developed lately that I don't want people to know about - yet here I am, blogging about them anyway...

1. Eating to excess, alone, in a violent manner, at a pre-determined time. So it's lunch time at work and I'm alone at my desk. I made a delicious salad, or sandwich, and can't hold back any longer. I watch the clock and as soon as it hits noon, I'm on that sucker. I inhale it like the future of the human race, the children of the world are depending on me. In fact, if I don't finish this salad in 5 minutes flat OR LESS, my husband's penis will fall off. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. (Sigh).

2. Obsessively scouring running message boards, trying to figure out an easy way to fix my latest injury. So. With running comes injuries. It's just something you have to deal with if you want to get into the dirty world of road racing. Last year, after 5 years of horrific, brutal build-up, I was thrilled to officially find my running zen. Running all of a sudden started to feel good (not just after I was done, but oftentimes even while in the throes of pain and exhaustion). And I was getting pretty good at it. I started racking up medals and shit. I PR'd with a 21:58 5K. I jest you not. The thrill of it all was almost overwhelming. But damn it, my ankles started screwing me up. I'd twist them, turn them, all but beat the crap out of them with a crowbar, and got to know my $250 ankle brace from the ortho amazingly well. I'm so sick of injuries I could scream. But now, instead of heading straight for the doc, I scour these message boards, looking for "the big solution" to all of my problems. Even when I'm not struggling, I LOVE googling things like "ankle injury out outside of ankle near heal that feels like 1000 knives stabbing foot when I sit Indian style". AND PEOPLE, they answer. They know things. Lots of things. But then, when reason kicks in (damn you) I start to wonder about the people who pop up over and over on these message boards. I imagine them being a group of know-it-alls (we can smell our own) who have annual know-it-all conventions and talk about different topics. For instance, the topic of day 4 will be "best ways to cure ankle injuries" and each party will take his turn sharing his fake knowledge. And a whole bunch of running message board whores are there, listening to every word and taking notes. NOW I HAVE THE ANSWERS I HAVE SOUGHT FOR SO LONG.

3. Going to stores like Anthropologie and Lululemon pretending like I can afford, well, anything, pretending to look at the regular priced stuff and trying not to too obviously make a beeline for the clearance section. When the sales person approaches me, I smile and pretend to be interested in something that's not on clearance, then when she helps me find my size, I try not to throw up when I casually glance at the price tag. It's tough, but it's times like these that I thank my lucky stars for my college acting classes. As I swallow the impending regurgitation, I head to the fitting room to try on the $300 pair of running capris and on the way, say, "oh, look, I'm just going to take a quick glance at the clearance section." The sales person nods her head and looks at me with disdain. I find the one thing on clearance that has a small stain on it (additional discount WHAT!?), skip the fitting room and check out that one item, putting back the $300 capris and leaving with my head hanging down in shame. Maybe, just maybe, I can sell my laptop and go back to buy the capris. Nah.

Bedroom Magic

Chris and I have spent the last few months updating our apartment with a new look (on the cheap - more to come on this project in an upcoming post.) It's been fun, BUT through the course of all this, we neglected the bedroom, which made me sad. A couple of weeks ago, Chris told me to "go nuts" with the bedroom and make it whatever I'd like (since he has the nerd room/man cave which he did completely his way). So I did it! I decided I wanted to continue with the mid-century feel but I really love a rustic-ish feel and magical things and of course, being a DIY princess, I had to create SOMETHING.

So it's tough to tell with the lighting being a bit lousy, but the color theme is lavender/green/brown.

Spike is satisfied with the new look. I won't post a picture of the room "before" because, well it's just embarrassing.

I created this "picture" using some wooden tiles from Kudzu antiques, purple yarn and an a frame from Hobby Lobby. It was insanely easy. You should do it too - it WILL change your life.

Tough to tell but the curtains are super cute - lavender, and of course because I needed a little sparkle, I strung up some LED star lights!

And picked up two of these super cute owl lamps from World Market - LOVE THEM!

I'm definitely planning to add more to it (still trying to figure out a way to string lights from the ceiling to create a starry-magical-fairy effect), and also working on this wolf paint-by-number (for GROWNUPS, Judgy McJudgerson) that I'm putting up somewhere once it's finished. But for now, not too bad given I did it in just a couple of days with a VERY LIMITED BUDGET.

I love changing up the look of things from time to time. Adding your own touch to things in your home really makes it more enjoyable and super fun. I'm so happy I could do a thousand cartwheels (well, maybe just one or two).

Magical Happy Blissyness (AKA On being over 30)...

So there are several pieces that have been floating around the Inter-webs about the negatives of hitting the big 3-0. I know there are quite a lot of bits that hit close to home for many people (myself included), but, if I may, I'd like to offer a well-thought out, highly personal, likely way-too-serious retort.

Your 30's kick ass. You are no longer a 20-something person trying to "find yourself", struggling with the confusion of whether or not you should stay home and watch Supernatural, then got to bed at 11, or go out and party with all the kids. You no longer give nearly as much of a damn what other people think, AND, you've made a fool out of yourself enough times that at this point, you should have some degree of self-restraint (which is a GODSEND, let me tell you). So here's a list of reasons why 30's are waaaaay better than 20's (disclaimer: this list does not of course apply to everyone in their 30's, this is simply based on my own experience):

1) You don't give a damn if people know that you go to bed at 11 after watching Supernatural. Who's got no hangover and feels fresh and amazing the next day?? This gal!

2) You may not know what you want to do with your life, BUT you've matured enough to realize that that's completely cool and actually kind of admirable.

3) You realize that while many friends are having kids, it's completely fine to wait a little while longer and totally acceptable to opt out of child-bearing. As I've recently learned, there are plenty of people who have kids (or become parents) into their late 30's and even sometimes early 40's.

4) You start to care more about other people, and less about what other people think of you.

5) Yes, you may start buying shoes more for comfort than sex appeal, but, OMG you guys there are shoes that offer BOTH!!! And they can be super cute and sexy. Ask my feet!

6) It's completely acceptable to buy books from the self-help section. In fact, if you're like me, half of your conversations may revolve around the teachings of Wayne Dyer, the Dalai Lama, etc.

7) You're no longer *quite* so reckless, and you do wear sunscreen not because adults always told you to, but because you start giving a shit about things like cancer.

8) You no longer feel guilty for needing a full 8 hours of sleep at night. It's just understood and people no longer question it.

9) You don't ever have to suffer through your first hangover again (which is typically the case in your 20's as well, but hey, it's a comforting thought for all, am I right?).

10) If you're like me, you kind of start noticing things you hadn't really noticed before. Like flowers, trees, nice sunsets, and God help me, Steve Winwood. I stopped for a solid 5 minutes on a run not too long ago to marvel at a garden of tulips. Magical happy blissyness.

11) It's harder to get bored because you're probably more likely to focus your time on things that really matter. Like a marathon session of Arrested Development on a Sunday with the mister.

12) You can revel in the satisfaction that you grew up with many of the most kick-ass cartoons EVER. Smurfs, Gummy Bears, Rainbow Bright, He-Man, GI Joe, TMNT - there was something for EVERY one of us.

13) You got to experience at least (or close to) half your life without the Internet. But you are young enough to really embrace it at the same time. It's a good place to be. Can't imagine what childhood would have been like for me if I'd had a computer WITH the Internet in my home. I'd have been so fat, plus I would have never showered.

14) You gradually become more and more aware that it's not just you - EVERYBODY is insecure as hell. Nobody really cares that much what you're wearing or how much you weigh because they're all too busy stressing about their own images. Image is dumb, but everyone struggles with it.

15) After trying so hard to be an adult for a whole decade, you realize that it's totally fine to embrace the pieces of your childhood that made you who you are. Don't throw away the toys - keep them. And not for your future children - for you.

source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rainbow_Brite_and_Color_Kids.jpg

So I applied for this reality show...

It's called "Wipeout." You may have seen it - it's basically the American version of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. I think I'd be really good on the show. Here are some of my answers to the application questions:

Q: WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MOST INTERESTING JOBS YOU'VE HAD?

A: My current position - I am in charge of a running program for the homeless :-) Past interesting jobs include bartender and child and adolescent therapist. I also work as a secret shopper from time to time. It's fun because I can live out my spy dreams without getting caught and interrogated

Q: WHAT WERE YOU VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO"...IN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK?

A: I wasn't voted anything, although I'm certain they intended to vote me "most likely to start a business wherein I embroider unicorns on...things"

Q: WHAT ARE YOUR WORST QUALITIES?

A: I struggle with timeliness. I procrastinate. I have been known to be a little on the stubborn side. I have a bad habit of hitting things (mainly other cars) with my car.

Q: WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

A:  Running, blogging, podcasting, starting craft projects and not finishing them

Q: GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF WHEN YOU HAVE RISEN TO A CHALLENGE IN COMPETITION.

A: I began running 6 years ago and struggled to complete my first 5K. After getting beat by Mena Suvari, who was 10 seconds ahead of me in a 5K, I then vowed to exact my revenge on her. Though she has no clue who I am, one day she will rue the day she beat Tiffany Brennaman by 10 seconds. Over the past two years I have begun placing in my age groups and have actually won overall female in two races.

Q: DO YOU HAVE ANY FEARS? IF SO, HOW DID THEY COME ABOUT?

A: Nothing really major - I just HATE snakes. I think that comes from the fact that they're, well, really creepy.

Q: WHAT IS YOUR UNIQUE AND PERSONAL MOTIVATION FOR WANTING TO COMPETE ON THE SHOW?

A: I came across the show while flipping through the channels and immediately KNEW that I needed to be on it. I have worked really hard to get into the best shape of my life and I am sort of on the nutty, crazy side. I have gone bungee jumping and sky diving so heights are not a problem for me. I really love Most Extreme Elimination Challenge and got super excited when I saw that there was something similar to that in the US. Also - I really want to have a training montage.

Q: WHAT IS THE MOST DARING AND DANGEROUS THING YOU'VE EVER DONE?

A: I went skydiving for my 30th birthday and finagled my friends into doing it with me. I was getting some pretty ugly looks when "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was playing over the loudspeaker in the shaky Cessna at 14,000 feet. Oh, and weather conditions weren't terribly optimal that day.

Q: WHAT FAMOUS PERSON DO PEOPLE SAY YOU RESEMBLE?

A: I hear Orson Welles sometimes but I believe I'm more of a Natalie Wood (when she was 33). I've also been mistaken for Jennifer Love Hewitt (they were a little drunk but hell, I'll take it).

Q: IF YOU COULD BE ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD, REAL OR FICTION, WHO WOULD YOU BE?

A: I would be a dinosaur. No explanation needed.

Q: DESCRIBE YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT EVER.

A: I used to work for United Way. At a national conference a few years back, they had a luau with an open bar and a karaoke machine. After I lost count of the number of drinks I'd had, I found myself grinding the floor, singing "Like a Virgin" with a bunch of folks gathered around (thank GOD iPhones hadn't yet been invented). Needless to say, we left early the next morning (let me also mention that somehow I put my keys in the toilet the night before) and didn't say goodbye

Q: IS THERE ANYTHING INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL THAT WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOU?

A: I am obsessed with unicorns, I'm a nostalgia freak (love anything mid-late 80's/early90's), and I have a cat named Dirt McGrit. I think airbrush is a lost art and that makes me sad.

Q: IF YOU WERE GRANTED ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY?

A: I would end homelessness forever. And I would make unicorns real.

On pillows and hormonal days....

So just a little while ago, after a good cry over an episode of Supernatural and a country song (don't even like country music), I consoled myself by ordering bird, red panda, and unicorn pillows.

A little background: we are completely redoing our living room and despite buying a sofa, chair and rug, I was MOST excited about picking out throw pillows. And I've spent quite a lot of time perusing the Society 6 website looking for some awesome finds. And boy howdy, did I find them! These are a couple the ones I decided on:

Source: http://society6.com/product/Hello-VPU_Pillow

Source: http://society6.com/product/RED-PANDA-by-Jamie-Mitchell-and-Kris-Tate_Pillow

So being SUPER inspired, I think I'm going to make some custom pillows via cafe press. Here's what I've come up with so far:

What is that, you ask? Well, it's a design my husband commissioned for me for our 11 year wedding anniversary (just this past weekend!). And it couldn't be more perfect.

Want a better view? I thought so:

Another Magical Caturday Post!

When I was a kid (and, well if we're honest, into my teen years), I used to leap as far out of my bed as possible to avoid getting either 1) pulled under by the monster that was clearly residing under there, where there was a portal a la Little Monsters that would take him back to a hellish place, not at all like Little Monsters; or 2) getting my achilles tendon sliced by the demonic kid who was raised from the dead a la Pet Cemetery.

As a kid I was terrified of using the toilet after hearing a story about a guy who was bitten on the butt by a snake that had slithered its way through the pipes and into the toilet. I STILL, to this day, refuse to use a toilet in the dark (like in the middle of the night) and ALWAYS, ALWAYS check to make sure there's not a snake in the toilet. I also came up with this scenario that because we lived on a lake, the likelihood of a snake at some point finding its way into our house was certainly viable. And it would most definitely find its way into my room and into the foot of my bed while I was sleeping. So every night I would wake up multiple times to check and make sure there wasn't a snake in my bed. Tragic, huh?

So last night when we were of course watching a special on snakes (basically something about how we shouldn't fear them, they fear us, blah, blah, blah), something was said that completely validated my fears. Three words came out of the narrator's mouth that will be etched in my memory forever (echo that like three times): "Snakes are everywhere." WHAT. Then the narrator goes on to say that a pit viper (poisonous, yep) can easily survive in a patch of grass in the middle of downtown Atlanta.

That's fucked up.

So in changing tunes to something that DOES please and sparkle, I wanted to share this amazing lion mane that I'm pretty sure I'll be ordering for Dirt McGrit, Esquire sometime over the next 24 hours. It IS Caturday, after all.

source: http://officeforward.com/crazy-cat-full-lions-mane-costume.html

Is it weird that I can always justify being late?

To myself, that is. And knowingly knowing that I'm completely off-base. For instance. This morning, as I'm typing this post, I'm running late for a meeting. My justification? It's better for me to finish my cup of coffee and be 15 minutes late than to die in a car crash on the way because I wasn't fully awake.

I get that my rationale is completely skewed and totally selfish (I mean, really, look at me thinking of all those pedestrians I could possibly hit on the road because I'm half asleep and unable to fully pay attention). But seriously. This, I've come to realize, is a TERRIBLE habit I've developed. And yet, here I am, still typing!!!

Okay, seriously, I've got to leave. But I'm not done with my coffee yet, and I really need to think of the pedestrians. If I had a dime for every time I've texted someone with the note "running late - fucking traffic" then perhaps I could buy myself something really nice. Like a Union Jack table and chairs. Oh wait, I already did.

Amaze-balls.